Dudes. Gals. I’m am so pumped, and this tournament is RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER. Like, holler out out your window to it, and it’s all, “Yeah, I’m COMING RIGHT UP!”
Now, we love all you teams that qualified. We truly do. However, there are (as I write this) still 9 teams who haven’t pitched in their fee. We need you to pay the registration fee by August 9th OR FACE THE SHAME CAVE. These funds are exactly what we need in order to do things like, oh, I dunno, host a big tournament. Turns out our brutish charm and cheese-ball grins don’t pay for lumber and food like they used to, so your cooperation in that is greatly appreciated. All information needed to complete that part of the deal is in your registration email. THANKS.
Don’t forget! Registration party at the Hexagon Bar, located at 2600 27th Ave South, Minneapolis, on Thursday night. We’ll have pick-up at McRae Park, which is at 906 E 47th Street, Minneapolis, earlier in the evening for folks who are into that sort of thing.
A little bird told me that some of you precious flowers have been murmuring things like, “Heyyyyy, man, those courts are a reeeeeeally long bike ride from where I’m being housed, and I don’t think I can hack it.” Fret not, my babies. We got a school bus that will pick you up at designated times and locations that are a much shorter bike ride from the floor you’re sleeping on. Now, if you can’t get your tuckus out of your bedroll in time to catch that wondrous wagon, well, then you’re just gonna have to hack it, sport.
Speaking of hacking it, have I told you we’re having side hack races around the Oval?! Yup. Bet your bippy on it. So, get rad, get in the hack, and hold on. Winner takes all bragging rights about winning.
While we’re probably going to be pretty lenient with the side hack certification, we ARE looking for folks who know the rules to ref this deal. This year, with the help of NAH, we’re making sure refs officiating games are not just good looking, but SMART and know the rules. They have been subjected to a GRUELING (kidding, it’s not, at all) test. Think you have what it takes? You should try it out. Super duper reffing test We’re also asking that at least one member of each team take the test, even if you have no machinations to ref a game.
Ahhh, yes (tents fingers), RULES. I should let you know that even though we all fantasized about being Mad Max and Tank Girl at some point, there ARE rules about how the bike you’re riding and the mallet you’re using need to be set up in order to be a legal force to be reckoned with on tournament courts. Here’s a refresher on the ruleset we will be using to OKAY your bike and mallet for play.
§2.3.1 – The bicycle has at least one braking mechanism.
§126.96.36.199 – A fixed gear drive train with foot retention on both pedals qualifies as a braking mechanism.
§188.8.131.52 – The handlebars are plugged or capped.
§184.108.40.206 – The chain is on the outermost chain ring or there is a bash guard.
§220.127.116.11 – There are no racks, fenders, bottle cages, saddlebags or other additions to the bicycle
specifically designed to block the ball.
§18.104.22.168.1 – Wheel covers, which cover the spokes of the wheel, are an exception to §22.214.171.124 and are permitted.
§126.96.36.199 – There are no sharp edges, points, loose screws, or otherwise unsafe parts
(at the discretion of the referee).
§2.4 – Mallets
§2.4.1 – Shaft
§188.8.131.52 – The shaft is made of metal or carbon fiber.
§184.108.40.206 – The gripped end of the shaft is plugged or sealed.
§220.127.116.11 – The shaft does not protrude through the bottom of the mallet head.
§2.4.2 – Mallet head
§18.104.22.168 – The mallet head is made of plastic.
§22.214.171.124 – The mallet head is securely fastened to the shaft.
§126.96.36.199 – The mallet head is a maximum of 180mm (7”) in length.
§188.8.131.52 – The inner diameter of any hole on the mallet head may not exceed 57mm (2.25”).
§2.4.3 – Dangerous mallets
§184.108.40.206 – The referee disallows the use of mallets that they deem dangerous.
Examples of dangerous mallets may include: Mallets that splinter, shatter, or break easily,
mallets with sharp protrusions, etc.
We will have a limited supply of bike parts for sale on site, along with tools and mechanics to amend any transgressions regarding your bikes or mallets.
Again, we’re forever grateful to our sponsors for helping us out with this, it’s gonna be awesome. Teams, we are so excited to have you in our fabulous city. Even you, Milwaukee.
Summary: Tournament soon, PAY UP SUCKAS, transportation to the courts, side hack races, omgwtfbbq, RULES SCHMULES but no seriously, rules, Mad Max need not apply.
Welp! We had a hell of shin dig. Between the Alleycat Fundraiser and the Raffle and Silent auction party at Dangerous Man Brewing facilitated by raffle prize-slinging cyborgs and the Dark Lord Satan himself (the guy in the back), our club was able to raise some dough towards our next endeavor.
We are forever grateful to our awesome sponsors, Penn Cycle, Banjo Brothers Bags, MPLS Bike Love, BEARD BAGS, Twin Six, ABUS, DZR Shoes, Adam Turman, Brian Beatty, Up The Mountain Down The Mountain, Ginny Marie Herman, Residue Comics, Global Citizens Network, MEAT MANE (a meat party bike delivered to your party), Uptown Tattoo, Buffalo Exchange, PAW – A Pet Care Company, and especially the amazing staff at Dangerous Man Brewing Co!!!
Everything in the silent auction sold, included a custom BIG SHOT provided by Penn Cycle. The lucky gal who out-bid everyone was happy to be getting a new bike and was anxious to see if she could try it out on the polo courts. Hey, man, the more the merrier at pick-up, I say. The night went smoothly, even with a line of people waiting outside to get in. Folks who made it in the doors were grateful for the raffle prizes and the deliciously high alcohol content of the beer. Frankly, we’re utterly shocked that so many of you like us and are THAT good looking.
So, you know what’s next, right?
2013 North American Hardcourt Bike Polo Championships! AUGUST 16-18 at the ROSEVILLE OVAL
We are so excited to host this tournament, there’s nary a pair of clean pants among us and all of our hand gestures have been diminished to “HELL YES” fist pumps, very much to the chagrin of our day-job coworkers.
Mr. Do was out this weekend, getting on-location shots for the amazing montage sequences that will accompany the livestream of this event. That’s right. If you can’t travel to Minnesota to watch this rad tournament, can’t be bothered to put pants on, or if trolling chatroll is where you shine, check out bikepolo.tv and follow the results at http://www.followpodium.com/. We’ll have Zachary Bloomington and super special guest announcer MACHINE, along with Mr. Do, Johnny Slurwheel, and Sweet Jenn providing color commentary, play by play, and player interviews along with the livestream of the tournament games.
If you’re unfamiliar with the world of polo, let me assure you, this is a big deal. Don’t say it isn’t. It is.
If you are in need of housing as a travelling player, please fill out THIS FORM asap, and we’ll find you a place to stay.
If you live in MSP, and you can PROVIDE housing to travelling players, please fill out THIS FORM.
More information and ramblings to come!
Blog Post summary: Polo is awesome, cyborgs, satan, we like money and sponsors, tournament, tournament housing, and we love you.
|As you may know, we are hosting a big-deal tournament, 2013 North American Hardcourt Bike Polo Championships, later this summer. In preparation for this event, we’d like to share the party vibe with you and give you all an opportunity to pitch in, and well, mostly, we just want to party with you.|
Dangerous Man Brewing Co has been gracious enough to allow us to host a party fundraiser and will be providing drink specials and ambiance. We have a silent auction and raffle, with prizes featuring brand new Adam Turman prints hot off the press, Banjo Brothers bags full of swag, as well other rad, bikey stuff for you to win. You may even win a bike.
If you prefer to start your party with some speedy competition and sweaty shorts, go ahead and win the Minneapolis Bike Polo Alleycat Fundraiser for NAHBPC2013,
Start: Corcoran Park 3334 20th Ave S Minneapolis, MN 55407, end up at Dangerous Man Brewing first, and strut around bragging about it all night. All racers get a free raffle ticket.
Buy a few raffle tickets, some locally crafted brew, and get your party on with the raddest folks around. Please help us show our guests coming for this tournament how Minneapolis rules the school when it comes to bike events (I’m looking at you, Portland, you know MPLS rules, you know it.)
Minneapolis is loading up the cars and getting ready to make the trip to Columbus, Ohio for the Midwest Championship 2013 & A Midwestivus For The Rest Of Us this weekend, May 25th & 26th. The Midwest Championship our regional qualifier for entering the North American Championship, hosted by… us! Minneapolis Bike Polo, August 16th, 17th, & 18th!
The 2013 North American Series has been scheduled. Culminating with the North American Hardcourt Bike Polo Championships in Minneapolis August 16-18th.
Our very own Mr. Do will be touring the major NAH tournaments this year, providing us, through the intimacy only the glow of our computer monitors can provide, a livestream of hot polo action at bikepolo.tv.
Check it out the project, here: http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/livestreamed-bike-polo-championships
Everything adds up, so donate what you can! ‘Do’ swag upon various giving levels include can coozies and t-shirts designed by Mr. Do’s daughter!
*This was written back in Dec. 2010 and never posted till now.*
After a fitful night of sleep, having witnessed the prior evening’s debauchery, we arose just in time to get the train rolling from the hotel. After a quick breakfast, the player meeting commenced, where we were informed of the local customs and schedule. At once, the games were underway, with our own Mr. Do on the opening joust, in a battle against clubmates.
Jerry was shooting like a laser for PB&J, and Kat had some great offensive plays with Hot Lava.
Peanut Butter & Jerry (Sven, Dustin & Jerry) opened by beating Hot Lava, then lost two in a row against some super-tough teams: MWBPC8 MVP Chris Simpson’s team Killer Boots (5-2) and Lexington’s Red-Bearded Boner Makers (4-1). They won their next game against Beard Face from Little Rock 3-1, and made it into the Double Elimination bracket by beating Medusa’s Quiver (Pittsburgh) 5-1. PB&J ended up ranked 7th in their group of 25 with a record of 3-2-0.
Hot Lava (Kat, Landon & Greta) lost the aforementioned game to hometown glorykillers PB&J, but then won their second game against Louisville 3-2. They tied with Two Lads & A Lass, then lost to Rage Coma 3-2. I’m missing a game, but they ended up 2-1-1 and did not advance to the double-elimination brackets.
In the afternoon (well, evening…it was basically dark), The Placeholders (Wade, Ramon and I) played Wardens (Capt. Jake, Matt Hewitt, Zach)—who ended up in 3rd place. Obviously outmatched, we lost 4-0. We then beat Pittsburgh’s All-American Badass 2-1. We had an A-court matchup against Chicago’s Team Adorable in what was the most fun game of the tounrament for me, losing to them 2-1. We then moved over to C court, under the light orbs. Lighting was bad, but it affected each team equally I think. The Placeholders lost 2-0 to Lex’s Lady & The Tramps (sorry for hitting you in the face, Rich!) In our last game, we beat Cerebral Ballsy (Chicago) 2-0, but it wasn’t enough to get us into the bracket with a 2-3-0 record.
Get Some Five Dollars, hereinafter referred to as Get Some, were better suited for the task of tournament victories with their matching jerseys (designed by Ebbin himself) and secret weapon—Nick D. They opened with 0-0 tie against the D.C./Florida team Beginner’s Luck, shut-out (5-0) Cerebral Ballsy, then beat Shit Show (Birdie’s great team with female MVP Maija) 5-3.
After their first loss to Hunter’s Heroes (4-3), they were still ranked 5th in the evening group with a game to play. It was a sweet game, and the Heroes took 2nd place in the tournament, a testament to Get Some’s defensive skills. Their final win was a comeback against King Shin Beef from St. Louis. At the end of the rounds, they were 3-1-1.
Having all had a hard day of polo, we returned to the Sidecar to secure cheap food and liquid refreshment. More merriment ensued.
We’ve been busy as beavers getting ready to host Midwest Open October 13-14th and we’ve been as grateful as robins after the rain for a sponsor like Penn Cycle and Fitness. Penn Cycle has been supporting Minneapolis Bike Polo for several years. We are hard on our polo bikes and Penn’s skilled mechanics are always willing to go the extra mile to keep them in running order. They also don’t laugh at us when we put expensive leather saddles on what amounts to demolition derby car.
Cheesy homespun similes aside, we are extremely lucky and grateful to have a the power of Penn Cycle behind Minneapolis Bike Polo.